Packer writes that clear-sighted souls “want something better” than shallow religion, though some end up wandering off into isolation. I know that ache well.

When I first came to Christ, and even through my ten years of sobriety, I felt the stirrings of that hunger. But I didn’t understand the state of the church around me—how weak it was, how much it had “capitulated” to the world. When trauma hit, and my walk was already fragile, I stumbled. My relapse was not only about the bottle in my hand, but about the famine in my soul.

The truth is, my search wasn’t shallow “church hopping.” It was a desperate quest for the living God. I wanted the real thing. I wanted to know Him—not just hear about Him in clichés, not just sit in pews where His greatness was muted. My soul was thirsting, and nothing else could satisfy.

Now, I see that the very hunger that once made me restless was His gift to me. It was His Spirit stirring me, pulling me closer, even when I didn’t recognize it. And though I wandered, He didn’t let me go. Christ met me again, not with empty platitudes, but with His Word, His Spirit, His presence.

I know now that knowing God isn’t optional. It’s the difference between stumbling blindfolded and walking with clear sight. It humbles me, enlarges me, and comforts me in a way no man-made religion ever could.

So today, I don’t run from the hunger. I thank Him for it. That ache was proof I was alive in Him. And now, I lift my eyes to the summit—life eternal, knowing God

“And this is life eternal, that they might know Thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom Thou hast sent.” – John 17:3

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