I had a dream not long ago.
In the dream, I was traveling with others. We stopped somewhere unfamiliar, and when I awoke, I realized the group had moved on without me. I tried to catch up—but there was a huge fence I couldn’t climb over. The only way to rejoin them was to go all the way back… the long way. And even then, it meant returning to something I had left behind.
At first, I saw it as rejection. Isolation. Maybe even punishment.
But as I sat with it, prayed over it, and sought the Lord, I began to understand:
That fence was not rejection. It was protection.
It was a fence of mercy.
The Lord had drawn a boundary—not to lock me out, but to keep me safe. That group I longed to rejoin? It represented a life I no longer belonged to. A rhythm I used to keep. A family atmosphere I once tried to earn my way back into—only to find myself diminished, dismissed, or barely tolerated.
But the truth is…
God had already delivered me from that season.
To try and go back would have meant surrendering the healing I’d received.
💔 In addiction, I longed to be included.
I hated feeling left behind. I feared being forgotten. But recovery—and more than that, redemption—means there are some places, some dynamics, some relationships we cannot return to as we were.
And honestly, we’re not meant to.
Like the angel placed at the edge of Eden with a flaming sword (Genesis 3:24), the fence of my dream wasn’t a punishment—it was sacred mercy.
It was the Father saying,
“Daughter, I brought you out. You don’t belong there anymore.”
🌱 What We Don’t Always See in Addiction
While in addiction, we don’t always notice the invisible hand of God redirecting our path. We may feel the sting of separation without realizing we’re being set apart. We may grieve closed doors without realizing that open doors are ahead—but in a new direction.
What we once called rejection, we now call rescue.
What we once called loneliness, we now see as sacred solitude with Christ.
What we once called fences, we now recognize as fences of mercy.
🕊️ A Word for the One Still Looking Back
If you, like me, have felt the ache of separation…
If you’ve tried to return to familiar places only to find a barrier in the way…
If you’ve grieved the loss of people, spaces, or rhythms that once defined your life…
Don’t despise the fence.
It might just be the proof of God’s mercy.
You are not locked out—you are being led forward.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” – Isaiah 43:18–19
Walking in Grace 
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