A Lament and a Hope

Context Note: Written in response to ongoing rejection from a loved one, even after years of growth, change, and surrender to Christ. The heart aches not for punishment, but for restoration—and wonders why some consequences remain.

There are days when the past feels like it has a longer reach than God’s mercy. I know that’s not true… but it feels true when silence echoes from people I once called family. I extend my hand, and it’s met with nothing. Not hostility—just absence.

And I whisper under my breath,
“Is this the price I still pay?”
“Are these never-ceasing consequences?”

I think of David. A man after God’s own heart—fully restored, fully forgiven. And yet… the sword never departed from his house. He wept for the child he lost, grieved over Absalom’s rebellion, bore the sting of betrayal again and again.

Was God unkind? No.
Was David still chosen? Absolutely.
But some consequences echo—not because God is cruel, but because the world is still broken.

“Against You, You only, have I sinned… Create in me a clean heart, O God… Restore to me the joy of Your salvation.”
—Psalm 51:4,10,12

I’ve been restored. I know the joy of His salvation. But I still walk roads where some relationships remain distant, some doors remain shut.

And I hear Him say:

“You are not walking in punishment. You are walking in purpose. The scars are not signs of rejection—they are signs of resurrection. Keep loving. Keep sowing. I am still writing the story.”

So I wipe my tears.
Not because they don’t matter,
But because He sees them all.
And I walk forward.
Not because the consequences are gone,
But because grace is greater still.